‘Back to school’ nonsense

Whoever started this ‘Back to School’ ritual will not see heaven.

It is one pointless shindig. You have breasted women looking silly after forcing their huge frames into tiny uniforms.

You have bearded men harassing small shorts and their bushy legs molesting grey stocks.

Their leg hairs are peeping through the socks. Tummies at war with undersized white or sky blue shirts. The blazers are under stress.

By afternoon the adult ‘students’, still in their overwhelmed uniforms, are gulping beer and smoking weed.

None is yet to explain the real motive behind the charade.

Muckraker’s mini-survey among the uniformed bellies yielded nothing substantial to explain why some adults find pleasure in such nonsense.

Some said it’s meant to inspire young ones by showing that those now working were once students. Which is to say the young ones should work hard to get to where the old ones are. Phew!

Yet that point is quickly invalidated when the adults in uniform behave like rascals and drink themselves senseless.

If the point is to inspire then companies that want to have useful “Back to school” events should insist on graduation gowns, not Peka High School or Methodist High School uniforms.

Change the level from secondary school to tertiary and the excitement will evaporate.

And if adults are nostalgic about their high school days, maybe, just maybe, they should write LGCSE Mathematics exams. How about simple Sesotho compositions?

Muckraker will volunteer to be an invigilator.

Yet even that too will not do much to inspire the young ones who know that most of the old ones are simply failures merely getting by. The truth is that most of the old ones don’t inspire any confidence or ambition.

Few can claim to be ideal role models. There is very little to like or admire about their lives.

Most adults need to go back to school, real school, to relearn basic manners.

Many have spent years giving education a bad name by being functionally illiterate and bungling simple tasks for which they receive wages.

There is very little evidence that some of those who join the ‘Back to School’ boloney have ever been to school.

If you think Muckraker is being malicious just look at your colleagues. Turn your head slowly.

Oh yes, that dimwit pretending to be busy in the corner is watching porn.

And that one…yes that one. She likes talking about Muvhango during work hours.

That one in a floral dress takes days to finish a simple task.

That one in the white shirt cannot spell his name under pressure.

Yes, that one in the blue skirt still hasn’t finished that report she was supposed to submit in January 2019.

That short one is on a final warning after he brought a fake sick note for the fourth time in three months.

That chatterbox drunk in the other corner doesn’t like paying his daughter’s school fees. He goes missing for five days after getting paid. He still thinks he is smart though because no one tells him that he is an unmitigated moron.

And the tall chap from the corner office is a pervert who likes giving female colleagues indecent hugs. He talks too much but his only certificate to get the job was a political party membership card.

And that yellowbone from accounts spends more time gossiping instead of accounting for petty cash. That chubby fellow who is always snoring on his desk only comes alive when it’s time to discuss office parties.

He once had a bout of depression after losing the election for the company’s entertainment committee.

The management had to persuade him to withdraw his urgent High Court application to challenge the election results.

He has been chairman of the entertainment committee for the past five years because no one dares to challenge him. Everyone knows what that position means to him.

Nka! Ichuuuuuuuuuuu!

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