Such women are a rare breed

“Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.” This a quote by Elizabeth Statmatina “Tina” Fey, a Hollywood actor influential for trailblazing women by writing and directing screenplays that showcase women supporting other women while also fighting gender stereotypes through comedy.

Last week we saw our own Tina Fey who was so dedicated to helping another woman by making sure her daily needs and that of her child’s will be taken care of for as long she will keep her business floating. I do not remember well who spotted this young woman on the northern side of the country but what I do know is ‘Mapaseka Sekantši sure proved that the spirit of botho (humanity) still exist in some women.

When people were busy shouting “ntat’a ngoana o kae” (where is the father of the child) she was busy letting people use her to better a woman’s life and help her lay a solid ground for her business. After securing a few additional items to her already existing stock she helped her get a shelter that will be her shop.

Still some people went further to shout “monna a moetselitseng ngoana o kae a tlo kokotela mok’huk’hu” (where is the man that impregnated her so he can help with the shelter) but she was very much occupied to entertain questions from social media crowds seeking relevance in other peoples misery.

Such women are rare to find and I think while we still walk this earth, we should appreciate them and celebrate them. Keep them motivated in doing the good job that they keep doing in other people’s lives.

What happened was really amazing because such acts of humanity were famous back in the olden days when our great grandmas were determined and ready to jump ship to help one another not in these modern days when women are forever ready to shame and humiliate another in the name of clout.

The spirit of botho was very much alive when women would gather in the rest room “ho fa ngoetsi e ncha maele a bophelo le matsapa a ho phelisa lenyalo la hae” (to advice a new bride so that she could have a successful marriage).

Back then when women would go extra lengths to help another lift the burden or curse of not being able to bear children because in the old days it was the woman’s responsibility alone to give children in a family. Modern day women are famous for gathering together when they are on a mission to destroy another or when they intend to rejoice on the troubles of another’s life.

Only a few of these modern day women would climb mountains to help another.

Such behaviour should change. We should look up to the women who were advocates for changing lives and copy a few humanity skills because clearly we failed to inherit them. We should stop raising humiliating questions when another of our kind is in need but should rather offer solutions.

All it takes in these social media influenced days is a post that will reach the multitudes and you will be an agent for transforming a certain life. Some women should learn to do that then maybe we can entertain their humiliating questions later if we won’t be busy with the end results. But then again the very same social media platforms had a huge impact on a lot of us in a negative way.

I would go on and on about how we can change our approach as women on certain life situations like the one that we witnessed last week, that fortunately had a happy ending.

Thanks a lot to a woman that made the right noise by reaching out to people to help another woman who needed help but couldn’t stand and say it out loud because with people these days you never know who is ready to put on their judge boots or play investigator and start asking uncomfortable questions.

Being a woman is really hard; it’s a full time job. You have got to be all systems go, literally. You have to be ready for anything that might be thrown at you at any time. You have to be very strategic and know what to say, when and where.

Sometimes being a woman can be seen as a curse because from a young age some are taught that they are vulnerable, fragile and in imminent danger just because they were born female. Talk about the need to protect these precious women against people that are determined to instil these beliefs in our young girls.

The outcome of these instilled beliefs can produce three kinds or groups of women in society. The first may be women that grow up believing what was told to them and they grow to be eggs that need to be handled with the utmost care and some become targets of hunters. I talked about hunters in my article about women’s rights.

The second group or kind may be women that have recently taken hold of the new trauma-centred feminism. The third and last may be the kind that is seen to dominate our generation. The bullies, the masters of manipulation, the non-caring insensitive ones.

They call themselves the straight talkers. This is the group that tried making fun out of that young woman’s situation who makes a living by street vending with her young girl. This is the group that instead of offering help or better yet ignoring the news about her started raising questions that were not very helpful at all.

Fortunately there are opposites of the clout chasers that were much determined to offer solutions to the problem that was already making rounds on social media. These are the agents of change, the good women that the world needs today.

I am not trying to sideline the men that contributed immensely in this life changing act, but women are the primary caretakers in the world, it’s in their nature and whenever things go wrong, they take the lead in helping adjust to a new chapter.

Bokang Masasa