The pains of a fading libido

Some few weeks ago we woke up to a startling social media story that left most married men in their mid-ages reeling in frustration and pain. It is a story of a leaked voice note (on WhatsApp) by one lady reciting to a friend (suspected to have leaked the story on social media), of her wild night with her young boyfriend by the name of Matšeli (Real name withdrawn) after her older boyfriend, Daddy, failed to live up to the game and has left the love-nest having failed to make her reach the destination. She went on to paint a rather disturbing and yet fascinating picture of how the young stallion had repeatedly made her reach a “point of no-return” throughout the night. All this came about after “Daddy” put up a rather disappointing act the same evening, until she decided to call on the younger thoroughbred. The story ended with the lady praising the young steed, Matšeli, for knowing how to please a damsel in distress. The accolades and praises could have been just one of those good narratives enjoyed by social media lovers except that it compared the performance of a younger mare to the older. This comparison left most men in anguish and gave a higher platform for the hundreds of women thirsty for the same experience the narrator had with Matšeli. One would have expected that “Daddy” with the advantage of age and experience, would have easily won this bout, but it was not to be so as a younger and more energetic Matšeli took all the praises and left “Daddy” with his tail between the legs in shame. The audio clip has been doing rounds in all the corners of the country and beyond. Thousands of men are going through similar experience to that of “Daddy” on a daily basis. Some are mourning in silence and shame, while others choose to drink and drown their sorrows in alcohol. It is better to get home drunk than having to face poor performance when the bedroom stage is set. Blame it on the alcohol. Researchers have shown a decline in libido, from men in their early thirties. The low-libido is putting men and their marriages under stress as most women go out looking for younger boys to meet their sexual quota. A deeper search into this dilemma shows that the foods we are consuming on a daily basis are in most part to blame for the declining sexual drive in most men. Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen and from there it is a downhill drive, getting worse after the age of 40 for the majority of men. But it has been shown that, this decline could be remedied by a change of lifestyles especially our diet. The greatest culprit in low sex drive is low testosterone. This is a crucial hormone involved in our sex drive. Certain medical conditions such as sleep apnoea, which is the interrupted breathing during sleep, is also associated with low testosterone. Some medications we take as men have also been shown to interfere with our libido due to the fact that they lower our testosterone. Antidepressants, blood pressure and pain relief pills are some of the medications that affect sex drive. Thirdly is depression. People with depression show a reduced or a complete lack of interest in things they once found pleasurable, including sex. Daddy could have possibly suffered one or more of the above. Who knows? Chronic illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease, obesity, are among the lifestyle diseases that negatively impact on men’s sexual drive. We know that ultra-processed foods, sugar and carbohydrates have all been linked to the high numbers of chronic diseases. High estrogen found in processed foods such as grain-raised animal meat and milk, seem to reduce testosterone as well. That is why we should focus on organic, free-range or pastured animals for our food. Alcohol is said to be estrogenic, and will greatly reduce libido. Sorry, but that is the way it is. Lack of exercise again rates high on the list of libido inhibitors. As surprising as it may sound, it has been found that endurance training can significantly raise one’s libido. How do we then raise our testosterone in order to put us back into the game? Matšeli cannot be let to run like a wild bull, unchecked and feared. Activating Human Growth Hormone (HGH) tend to work wonders because whenever growth hormone goes, testosterone follows. This could be activated by eating a moderate amount of proteins with each meal, and this should be organic. Getting enough sleep has also been linked to an increased libido. Like we have shown earlier, intense body exercise will spike your growth hormone and jump start your testosterone. Intermittent fasting is another strong method of reducing insulin and increasing your growth hormone. This is a method of not having to eat frequently and has been shown to boost testosterone levels. It is still mind boggling as to who came up with the idea that we should be eating three or more meals a day. The best thing is to eat when you are hungry and eat the right food. Matšeli is young and still has an advantage of age to work out his magic. But this should not inflict fear and pain in the hearts of Daddies who could also benefit from age and experience. The only problems facing “daddies” are connected to bad lifestyles and habits that are major catalysts to the decline of their libido. There is no lasting magic pill to resolving this decline except the reset in the right direction of having good quality sleep, frequent resistance, avoiding damaging habits such as smoking, asking for alternative medication that does not interrupt our best hormone, testosterone, avoiding frequent eating sprees and eating when hungry. These go hand in hand with eating good quality food that optimises good health and practice intermittent fasting frequently in order to reset and detox our body. Armed with this knowledge, we can now parade into our love chambers, chests out, heads held high ready to pounce and conquer. Let us get an “Amen” from all the “Daddies”. Tšepang Ledia